“your voice is small, but don’t ever stop singing”

My girlfriend sent me this video, and I loved it. It’s good advice for mother’s of daughters (or sons)…things to remember and teach them about the world and themselves.

“If I should have a daughter, instead of “Mom”, she’s gonna call me “Point B,” because that way she knows that no matter what happens, at least she can always find her way to me. I’m going to paint solar systems on the backs of her hands so she has to learn the entire universe before she can say, “Oh, I know that like the back of my hand.” And she’s going to learn that this life will hit you hard in the face, wait for you to get back up just so it can kick you in the stomach. But getting the wind knocked out of you in the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.

…I’ll always keep an extra supply of chocolate and rain boots nearby, because there is no heartbreak that chocolate can’t fix. Okay, there’s a few heartbreaks that chocolate can’t fix, but that’s what the rain boots are for, because rain will wash away everything, if you let it…

There’ll be days…when you open your hands to catch and wind up with only blisters and bruises; when you step out of the phone booth and try to fly and the very people you want to save are the ones standing on your cape; when you when our boots fill with rain and you’ll be up to your knees in disappointment. And those are the very days you have all the more reason to say thank you. Because there’s nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline, no matter how many times it’s sent away.

You will put the wind in winsome, lose some. You will put the star in starting over, and over. And no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute, be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life.

And yes, on a scale of one to over-trusting, I am pretty darn naïve. But I want her to know that this world is made out of sugar. It can crumble so easily, but don’t be afraid to stick your tongue out and taste it.

“Baby,” I’ll tell her, “remember your mommy is a worrier and your daddy is a warrior, and you are the girl with small hands and big eyes who never stops asking for more.” Remember that good things come in threes and so do bad things. And always apologize when you’ve done something wrong, but don’t ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining. Your voice is small, but don’t ever stop singing. And when they finally hand you heartache, when they slip war and hatred under your door and offer you handouts on street-corners of cynicism and defeat, you tell them that they really ought to meet your mother.”

(taken from a speech given by by Sarah Kay)

Lila, let’s read this to each other every so often…(once you start to read, that is). I think it will be good for both of us…

a few things about this little girl...

Last night, when Lila decided she didn't want to sit/snuggle to relax before bed, I said, "Fine Lila: go in timeout," and she proceeded to walk over to Jack's usual t.o. spot and sit happily, like the privilege of a time out had finally been bestowed on her! She's too smart for her own good...or as CC/my mom pointed out, maybe Jack goes in timeout way to often...?? 








She loves her cousin Will to pieces. "Wheel!" she exclaims when she sees his picture. She wants to hug him, and squeeze him, and name him George. As you can see from the pic below, he's a little unsure about her right now...it's only a matter of time before she's dressing him and convincing him to join her in ring-around-the-rosy!




And for some reason, I'm five hundred percent obsessed with Lila's hair in the picture below: so straight and perfectly windswept (even though there was no wind, because she's in the bath and all)...I want to marry her hair to pieces!


Also, she's got most of this family wrapped around her finger. Jim cannot say no to her...literally: he let her take a bath with a piece of pizza in her hand because she didn't want to give it up and he didn't want to say no to her! I was like, "Seriously, Jim?" and he shrugged as if to say, "I'm powerless to her forces." So Lila played with the pizza turned sponge in the tub until everyone was grossed out enough to call the bath over. (And when I went to shower later, I definitely found some tomato in the tub...)

A letter to Lila...

Lila,

I know you won’t be able to understand what’s going on around here this next week, and why Mommy isn’t there to hold and hug and kiss and laugh with you. I’m sorry for that. But I have to go away for a little while to do some work.

I know you may feel sad and scared that you can’t see me every day, and believe me, it will be scary and sad for me too. But in the big picture of our lives, it’s not that long of a time. We will be back to playing with each other before we know it.

While I’m gone, eat your food real good, and try not to get too much in your hair because I don’t know if Daddy is going to give you a bath every day. Try sleeping in a little bit, because our days are always happier when we get a good night’s rest and have sweet dreams. Daddy may have you wear mis-matched clothes, and that’s fine too…as long as you’re not naked, that’s the important part!

Smile a lot while I’m gone, and let Daddy take funny pictures and videos of you to send to me. It will make me so happy to see you! I’m going to miss your pretty little face so much it will hurt!

Hug your brother a lot, because he might need some extra love from you. You’re good at giving lots of love and smiles…it’s your gift to us all.

Do me a favor while I’m gone: don’t reach any monumental milestones: like tying your shoes or getting your first haircut (DO NOT LET DADDY CUT IT…he wants to give you bangs, for some unknown reason…don’t let him!) or getting your ears pierced or finally getting the hang of the ABC song…I need to be there for all those things so you just hold off a few days so I can be there!

I’ll be thinking about you all the time. And when I call to talk to you, remember that Daddy’s phone isn’t food, so don’t try to eat it! I love you to bits and pieces, my pretty, happy baby girl.

Love always,

Mommy

soon to be 1...

It’s cliché, and I hate clichés, but I cannot believe how fast this last year has gone. In a flash, in an instant, right before my eyes, my baby girl is on the verge of 1 year old…

She’s a crawling and standing machine who (unlike her brother) loves to splash in the bath, and drink the bath water. She blows kisses and hides behind her blanket for peek-a-boo, and always claps in excitement when she appears. She falls asleep snuggling her blankie and
wakes up happier than anyone I know, as she sits in her bed in the morning, talking to herself contently until we scoop her up.

She eats almost anything, but always shares bites. She’s transitioning to whole milk and away from bottles and 3 hour schedules and baby-ness.

She’s in love with her brother, and vise versa. I’m the most proud when he is so kind and gentle with her, and insistent that he hug and kiss her and even wrestle with her (softly!). Jack loves to play with her, and they’ve made a fun game of crawling around the kitchen island and laughing upon finding the other. I hope they never tire of playing together...although that's probably a hope made in vain.

Nothing in my life is more endearing than watching my kids play together and love one another.

Time has gotten away from me this past year, and I can’t wink and ask it nicely to rewind, or start over, or slow down. It won’t listen to me, and that's okay. Seeing as I have no control it's a "let go and let God..." situation.

So in lieu of mourning the rapidness of time, I will try to celebrate it all: the past year, the baby girl turning into a little lady, the little boy turning into a protective brother...the rainbow of happy moments we've had, and to come.

PS: Lila's first birthday is a rainbow celebration...I don't know what I ever did before Pinterest!

liley & her blankie

The blanket that Nani has been working on since before Lila was even born is officially complete! It's a million percent adorbs...and even though Lila was fast asleep by the time I was finished "ooh-ing" and "ahh-ing" over it, I eventually passed it off to her and covered her as she peacefully slept.

And she slept better than she had in a while...no midnight rousing to reinsert her paci...and she woke up the happiest little thing...in turn causing her brother to wake up in a likewise happy manner...(I bring Lila in with me to wake him up: she sits next to Jack and pats him/pulls his hair awake...most days, he pulls her in close to him until she drools on him enough to sit up.)

All the happiness was simply contagious, so Jim and I both went about our happy mornings, destined to have happy days.

Moral of the story: Nani's blanket, made by hand with love, makes us all happy.

Self: need to take "real" pics of the blanket and not just camera snaps. Sor.

girls...

cognitive

“She’s cognitive” –Jim

Lila is a thinker…and observer…she’s content to sit outside on a nice day and examine the world…she follows passing cars with her eyes…she laughs in delight as her brother dances and plays with her…she is happy to just take it all in…she’s very much like Jim (low maintenance) and she even has his toes (thankfully)!

Her first word was Dada (same as Jack). I would have conversations with her,
Me: Mama
Lila: Dada
M: Mama
L: Dada
M: Mama
L: Dada

But she finally got it! She says Mama! Now we’re working on “Bro-ther” or “Ba-ba” (maybe?) or “Jack”…they’re all kind of hard words for a baby to say, so I wonder what she will call him…but one thing's for sure: she knows him. She knows her big brother, whether she can call his name or not, her face says it all.

Lila raises her hands above her head (sometimes) when we ask her, “How big is Lila? Soooo big!” Yes you are baby girl…so big!

smile for the camera...

Note for my memory book, since #1 I’m terrible at remembering things and #2 I don’t actually HAVE a memory book: the teeth actually appeared on March 19. Just before her 8 month birthday. Her two bottom teeth are through…and she didn’t complain too much about it. She’s seriously so complacent…she gets that from her father FOR SURE. She’s so easy going and happy…in daycare, when the other babies are crying for attention and fussing, Lila just sits by happily and plays with her toys (so I’m told). Go with the flow, Baby girl... I also received the complement, "She just looks so clean!"...which was totally hilarious because it had been 4 days since her last bath! With our busy schedules, we're always rushing around to get our daily "To Do's", done...so if we skip a bath now and then in exchange for some extra play/cuddle time...I'm good with that.

sleep

she couldn't be cuter: wearing her brother's old pj's...with her little butt propped up in the air...peaceful and dreaming...

Lila & Ava

Can you see the cousin resemblance? The nose...the eyes...the cheeks and chin?! There's def. the Greffet side coming out when I see Lila with her cousin Ava...

But it's strange because Lila also looks exactly like how my sister looked as a baby...once while holding Lila, my sister even received the compliment, "Well you've got one that looks just like you!" (jeal)

So I can't say with certainty exactly where Lila gets her good looks from...but when that little girl smiles...my goodness it lights up the room...and Jack, well, he's just a miniature version of my dad...except with hair...

Nani's Girl!

Lila loves her Nani. My Mom was away for a week and by the time she came back, Lila was sitting up by herself, clapping, waving, and reaching for her best Nani to hold her...hello development!

Lila, you're amazing! Nani...you are too!

It hadn't occurred to me, until last night when my Mom said, “She needs a bow in her hair!” that Lila’s hair was indeed long enough to satisfy a bow.

When did my baby girl get so big? I have a mindset that she’s still my little baby: with fuzzy, barely-there hair that can’t sustain a bow. But in reality, she’s my almost 8 month old baby girl, who astounds me everyday with all she knows and does.

When did she get to be so big? Where has the time gone? Why is the fast forward button stuck on...slow down life! Soon, she’ll be asking me to braid her hair. In which case, I can either give her a wonky-looking braid, or send her to Nani’s…cause Nani can do it all!

Liley: those eyes kill me...

Jim rarely calls me "Jen"...or Jack, "Jack"...or Lila, "Lila"...he's a nickname kinda guy and has special little titles for each of us, endearingly. Jack is following in his father's footsteps and taken to calling Lila, "Liley" and I love it to pieces. Pieces. His baby sister. Our baby girl. Little Lila...sweet Liley.

...I am overcome with pride at this little, beautiful, perfectly perfect angel who is mine...ours.

PS: She needs to give her big brother some sleeping lessons because he's going through a phase and it seems Liley is the only one in the house getting a good night's sleep!

Lila: 6 months...

Lila had her 6 month checkup and just typing that is a kind of punch to the stomach. 6 months? When did that happen? Half a year…really? She’s so beautiful and loving and sweet. I am so so proud of my little girl.

She weighs 16 pounds 12 ounces (75th percentile) and she’s 27 inches long (80th percentile). She received 4 shots and actually handled it better than her big brother’s 1 shot (but don’t tell him…he tried his best to be brave! Plus Lila has unawareness on her side, whereas Jack can see it coming!)
The Dr gave her the okay to eat just about anything…or at least try it. She’s been interested in grown up (table) food lately so I finally gave her some mini-baby pieces of bread last night. In all honesty, the pieces were so small that she probably didn’t even notice them, but it’s a start. I’m also experimenting with making my own food for her (more on that later)
She’s sleeping through the night and waking up so damn smiley and happy. I just want to kiss her face all morning, but after a while she asks me to stop and FINALLY feed her…then I can go back to love-attacking her! (PS: LOVE this hat! The pic cracks me up, but it's a million percent adorable in person!)
Lila really is such a happy baby. She’s got her daily routine down pat and life is getting easier (until she get’s mobile and then we’ll be back on a learning curve!)

Happy, happy half year birthday to my 6 month old girl! Slow down, sister!

Lila & Sleep...

My happy little beauty and her Poppy!

I love my Dad's face in this picture...LOL!

Last week, while in the midst of another 3:30 am feeding with Lila, I decided it was probably about time to start sleep-training her. It just hadn't hit me until that moment that she should be sleeping through, and is most likely only waking up out of habit (besides a few random nights here and there, she was waking up at least once to eat). With Jack, he started sleeping through the night on his own at 3 months, so sleep-training wasn’t needed (I thought). SO, last friday we decided to attempt the “Cry It Out” method. The first hour of the first night was torture. Lila cried...hard. I cried. Jim gave in and went to get her. She came out with a bright red face and teary eyes, and she looked at me and (I swear to God) smiled…the kind of smile like, “I got my way”. My little girlfriend.

Each night we would rev ourselves up for the meltdown, and each night was a little bit better. Our strategy was to let her cry for 5 minutes, and go in for 1 minute (without picking her up) to soothe her. Then 10 minutes and soothe, 15 minutes and soothe. Saturday night she cried for 40 minutes. Sunday: 20 minutes. Monday: 10 minutes. Tuesday: Not.At.ALL. Not a single cry, whimper, fuss, noise. Just my happy little girl falling to sleep on her own and not waking up once in the night.

She’s sleeping better and waking up happier. She’s on a solid routine. And all of a sudden, life is generally easier. NOW, I may be speaking too soon, it’s all still new, so we’ll see what changes come. But all I know is a sleeping family is a happy family!

PS: Lila's face in this last picture kills me! I love love it!