Yesterday, I had a bad day. That’s a relative statement, because everyone I know and love is happy and healthy and safe…but it was a no good day, nonetheless.
It started with some not so hopeful news about our on-the-market house. And from there, it just went down. Between meetings from hell and miscommunication about picking up the kids, I was ready for the day to be over. But when I got home, the bad mood and crappy day seemed to fade.
I took pictures of the kids. Lots, actually. For Mother’s Day, I want to make myself updated silhouettes of the kids so I was set on getting good profile shots. Lila’s were a challenge. I must have taken 30, but I knew I had a keeper in that bunch! Then I took pictures of the kids goofing around, making funny faces and laughing so hard that they were falling onto one another with full-on belly laughs that brought a smile to my face. I knew my bad day was over. I knew things were only going uphill from here.
Then I took Jack’s pictures. And reviewed. Reviewed. Revi…my pictures were gone. The pictures of Lila’s profile and the kids laughing together and from spirit week at school, and those from the previous week, and the week before that. Gone. And I lost it. I cried. A big, red-faced cry. I was mad and angry and frustrated and tired.
Then Jack patted my back. He said, “It’s okay Mommy, you can just take more pictures.” He was there for me: when everything came crashing down, he became my knight. And although I know I’ll never get those pictures back, it wasn’t really about the pictures anyway. I think I just needed a moment of release. The memories in those lost pictures, of the kids’ unconditional love for one another, reminded me that my crappy day isn’t something that I will remember in the long run. Lucky for me though, there will be thousands of belly-laughing, sibling-loving moments to come, capture, and relive.
I wiped my eyes, and we read our nightly books, and I told him how thankful I was that he was my big guy and how much he helped me…how lucky I am. Then he requested I sing “The Lucky” song, for which he had to resituate himself to sit properly in my lap like a baby, which I will allow as long as he wishes. It was an off key rendition, but I sang and rocked him.
It was the least I could do after he became my personal hero for the night…for my ever, actually.